GameStop just dropped a $55.5 billion unsolicited bid for eBay, leaving Wall Street to wonder if CEO Ryan Cohen is using a totally different calculator than the rest of the world.
Investors immediately panic-sold, dropping GameStop shares by over 10 percent before the morning coffee had even kicked in. Financial analysts are currently furiously re-taking high school algebra to figure out how Cohen’s math actually works.
During a grilling on CNBC’s Squawk Box, Cohen was asked the pesky little question of where the extra $16 billion would magically appear from. Cohen, channeling his inner toddler caught with a hand in the cookie jar, simply stated he didn’t understand the question.
His masterful financing plan involves $9.4 billion in cash on hand, $20 billion in hypothetical debt from TD Securities, and roughly $11 billion in company stock. If you add those numbers up on a napkin, you get $40.4 billion, which is a solid $16 billion short of a $55.5 billion check.
When co-anchor Becky Quick politely asked where the missing funds were, Cohen deflected harder than a rubber ball in a small room. He assured the financial journalists that the full details were available on the company’s website, presumably written in invisible ink.
GameStop’s current market valuation sits at a modest $12 billion, making this takeover attempt roughly equivalent to a hot dog vendor trying to buy the entire Coca-Cola company. The video game retailer’s most recent claim to fame was riding a 2021 meme-stock wave, a credential that apparently now qualifies one for high finance.
eBay politely confirmed that nobody from GameStop had actually bothered to call them about this massive, multi-billion-dollar fantasy. The online auction giant is currently letting its board of directors read the proposal, likely while stifling giggles around the boardroom table.
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