In a move that can only be described as “the adults trying to fix a mess,” the United Kingdom and France have decided to work on a Ukraine peace plan after a meeting between Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and U.S. President Donald Trump turned into what we can only assume was a high-stakes episode of Real Housewives of the White House.
British Prime Minister Keir Starmer, in his best “I’m disappointed but not surprised” tone, told, “We’re going to figure something out and then try to explain it to the U.S. in a way that doesn’t make Trump flip the table.”
That Oval Office Disaster
Friday’s meeting between Zelenskyy and Trump reportedly spiraled into chaos—though let’s be honest, that’s about as shocking as finding tea in Britain.
While exact details remain scarce, one can only imagine Zelenskyy asking for more U.S. support while Trump responded with something along the lines of “What’s in it for me?” or “Let’s make a deal.”
Now, with European leaders scrambling like students who just realized the exam is today, Canada and others are set to meet in London for a security summit.
Zelenskyy will be there, presumably hoping that the meeting doesn’t end with another world leader storming out or throwing a Twitter tantrum.
In a plot twist that surprises absolutely no one, the UK and France have decided to lead peace talks for Ukraine, forming what they call a “coalition of the willing.” Which, let’s be honest, is diplomatic code for “the handful of countries that are tired of waiting for everyone else to make up their minds.”
For weeks, London and Paris have been working on a proposal to send peacekeeping troops to Ukraine after a cease-fire—because nothing says ‘peace’ like sending in more troops. But there’s just one tiny hiccup: Donald Trump.
The whole plan is stuck in a diplomatic traffic jam because nobody knows if Trump will back it. In fact, British Prime Minister Keir Starmer admitted he hasn’t exactly gotten a thumbs-up from Washington. But that didn’t stop him from pushing ahead, saying:
“I’m not criticizing anyone here; I do think we’ve probably got to get to a coalition of the willing now.”
The Elephant in the Room
Even if the UK and France can organize this peacekeeping plan, there’s still one very large, shirtless, horseback-riding problem: Vladimir Putin. The whole idea of security guarantees relies on the U.S. acting as a deterrent—essentially, a big red “Do Not Cross” sign for Russia.
Without it, this plan is just two Europeans with good intentions and a handful of peacekeepers standing in front of a tank, asking it to please stop.
For now, the world waits to see if Trump will support the plan—or if he’ll suggest Ukraine and Russia settle things with a golf match at Mar-a-Lago. Stay tuned!
Starmer has made it clear that any security guarantees for Ukraine will need a U.S. backstop—because without America’s muscle, the so-called “guarantee” would have all the deterrent power of a wet paper bag.
“It would not be a guarantee without it; it would not be a deterrent without it,” Starmer stressed, likely while resisting the urge to bang his head against the nearest table.
Translation: “Europe can promise all it wants, but unless the U.S. is standing behind us with a ‘Do Not Mess With Ukraine’ sign, Putin isn’t exactly going to be shaking in his boots.”
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