President Donald Trump kicked off Monday by branding Canada a “tariff abuser”—a title that sounds like it belongs in a wrestling ring rather than a trade spat.
The outburst came hot on the heels of Ontario slapping a 25% electricity export surcharge on three US states, leaving nearly 1.5 million Americans wondering if their toasters will now come with a Canadian accent.
“Ontario just announced a 25% surcharge on ‘electricity,’ of all things,” Trump fumed on Truth Social, throwing in some air quotes to really drive home the absurdity of it all.
“They’re not even allowed to do that—someone check the rulebook!” he added, as if international trade were a pickup basketball game.
“Canada is a Tariff abuser and always has been,” Trump continued, likely picturing a Mountie twirling a mustache while cackling over a pile of loonies. “The United States isn’t going to keep footing the bill for Canada’s moose-powered lifestyle anymore!”
He didn’t stop there, taking a swing at Canada’s entire export catalog. “We don’t need your cars, we don’t need your lumber, we don’t need your energy—and frankly, we’re one sternly worded letter away from not needing your maple syrup either,” he declared. “You’ll see soon enough!”
The drama kicked off when Ontario—Canada’s most populous province and self-appointed guardian of the Great Lakes—decided to crank up electricity tariffs for Minnesota, New York, and Michigan.
Starting Monday, 1.5 million Americans will feel the jolt in their wallets, if not their outlets.
Ontario Premier Doug Ford, sounding like a man who’s just been dared to flip the big red switch, fired back: “I won’t hesitate to jack this charge up even higher. If the US wants to play hardball, I’ll cut the power faster than you can say ‘eh.’”
He then added a classic Canadian guilt trip: “Trust me, I hate doing this. I feel awful for the American folks who didn’t ask for this mess. It’s all one guy’s fault—looking at you, Trump!”
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