President Donald Trump declared that his next Federal Reserve chair will be judged by one simple test: whether they slam interest rates downward so fast the thermometer feels jealous. He confirmed that the central bank’s top job will go to whoever can command rates to “drop and give me twenty” basis points on day one.
Economists nationwide immediately began adjusting their forecasts, calculators, and in some cases blood pressure medication, preparing for a future in which monetary policy is shaped by presidential enthusiasm the way teenagers tune a radio.
Meanwhile, prospective Fed chairs are reportedly practicing rate-cutting drills in their living rooms, shouting “0.25%” like they’re at an auction no one asked for.
Trump made the comments in a Politico interview, responding “yes” when asked if a quick interest-rate cut would be his litmus test. He clearly saw the question as an opportunity to give a one-word answer, something he enjoys almost as much as talking for twenty minutes.
He then added that current Chair Jerome Powell “should too,” launching his standard critique that Powell isn’t smart and doesn’t like him. Powell has never confirmed or denied this allegation, possibly because he is busy running the world’s largest central bank instead of rating presidents on Yelp.
Trump’s remarks serve as a flashing neon sign for any hopeful Fed applicant: cut rates or collect your rejection letter. The message is so direct it might as well have been mailed with a coupon for a discounted chainsaw.
Kevin Hassett, the White House National Economic Council director and reported frontrunner, has already signaled strong alignment by saying the Fed should cut rates “right now.” That phrase may be music to Trump’s ears and noise to everyone else who likes their monetary policy delivered without exclamation points.
Hassett told CNBC that it would be irresponsible for the Fed to lay out long-term rate plans, arguing the chair’s job is to watch economic data and react. This is basically saying the Fed should behave like a cautious parent monitoring a sugar-charged toddler, but with bonds instead of juice boxes.
Trump has been calling all year for rates below 2%, compared to the current 3.75% to 4% target. He wants the benchmark so low that borrowers faint with gratitude. And with a Fed meeting expected to deliver a 25-basis-point cut, Trump is poised to critique the move as “barely enough to water a cactus.”
Powell’s term ends in 2026, giving Trump plenty of time to rehearse new nicknames or practice his rate-cut-themed pep talks. Powell remains a Fed governor until 2028, a reminder that no matter what happens, the man is still clocked in.
Trump said he has already chosen his next Fed leader but that he might not announce it until early next year, presumably to keep the suspense levels high enough to power a small city.
The shortlist includes Christopher Waller, Michelle Bowman, Kevin Warsh, and BlackRock’s Rick Rieder. It is unclear whether they have spoken to Trump because he chose not to answer that question, giving reporters everywhere the same sensation as when your phone autocorrects “on my way” into “omelette.”
For now, the candidates wait, the economy waits, and the interest rate sits quietly, unaware that it is about to become the star of the nation’s next binge-worthy drama.
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