President Donald Trump has pardoned cryptocurrency titan Changpeng Zhao, yanking him from the annals of short-stay prison life back to the billionaire fast lane—proving once again that in Washington, the right Rolodex can outpace any rap sheet.
Just over a year ago, Zhao—better known as CZ in the crypto coliseum—was cooling his heels in a federal lockup for four measly months, all because his Binance empire accidentally (or not) became a playground for money launderers swapping dirty digital dollars for spotless ones.
Now, with a presidential flick of the wrist, he’s not just free; he’s fabulous, strutting into Trump’s crypto-friendly White House like a phoenix with a platinum wallet.
Trump shrugged off any personal bromance with Zhao during Thursday’s announcement. “I don’t believe I ever met him,” the president quipped, “but I’ve been told he had a lot of support—like, tremendous support—and what he did? Not even a crime, folks. Persecuted by Biden’s crew, total witch hunt.”
It’s the kind of logic that makes lobbyists lick their chops and the rest of us wonder if “persecution” is just code for “forgot to tip the regulators.”
The K Street conjurers who turned a guilty plea into a get-out-of-jail gala. At the helm? Ches McDowell, a North Carolina lobbyist whose firm, Checkmate Government Relations, raked in $7.1 million in the last three months alone—impressive for a shop that only sprouted a D.C. office this year, like a weed in a victory garden.
McDowell’s secret sauce? He’s Donald Trump Jr.’s hunting buddy, the kind of pal who swaps stories of elusive bucks over bourbon, not balance sheets. Photographers caught the duo whispering sweet nothings to the president at a White House bash honoring conservative firebrand Charlie Kirk last week. Coincidence? In Washington, that’s just how the deer—or deals—hunt.
Binance didn’t skimp on the gratitude check, either. They forked over $450,000 to Checkmate in late September for a single month’s wizardry on “financial policy issues and executive relief.” That’s not lobbying; that’s buying a luxury yacht with a side of absolution, all while the Treasury Department presumably sips coffee and pretends not to notice.
But the pardon parade started earlier, with Zhao and Binance enlisting Teresa Goody Guillén, a crypto legal eagle Trump once eyed for SEC chief. Her firm pocketed $290,000 from the duo this year alone, three weeks post-inauguration.
“With my client, Mr. Zhao, we express our profound gratitude to President Donald J. Trump, whose courage and moral clarity made this day possible,” she tweeted, because nothing says “profound” like a pardon served with a side of emojis.
Guillén and McDowell, predictably, ghosted requests for comment—like pros who know when to reload and when to vanish into the brush.
Meanwhile, Binance’s lobbying ledger tells its own rags-to-riches tale: a $1.2 million splurge in 2023’s doom-scroll months, a 2024 dry spell during plea deals and $4 billion fines, then a 2025 resurgence with $860,000 already spent. It’s on pace to eclipse past peaks, because nothing reboots a brand like a presidential do-over.
Beyond the bucks, Binance cozied up to the Trump clan’s World Liberty Financial venture, blending family business with blockchain bliss. And Zhao’s successor, CEO Richard Teng, just joined The Digital Chamber’s advisory board in July—because why stop at one pardon when you can pad the Rolodex for round two?
For the uninitiated, Zhao’s saga was peak crypto chaos: Binance pleaded guilty to flouting anti-money laundering rules, letting illicit assets flow freer than a meme coin pump.
The company got slapped with $4 billion in fines and eternal Big Brother from Justice and Treasury watchdogs. Zhao? A $50 million personal ouch and that four-month timeout, which he served like a VIP spa retreat—out before the kale smoothies ran dry.
Critics might cry foul over the fast-track favoritism, but in Trump’s Washington, it’s less corruption and more capitalism on steroids.
Crypto’s wild west just got a sheriff who’s more saloon keeper than lawman, winking at regulations while lobbyists line up for the next round. Zhao’s fresh start? It’s a reminder that fortunes flip faster than Bitcoin prices—and with the right allies, even prison stripes fade to gold cufflinks.
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