Tesla, the company that once made waiting lists trendy, just posted a 48.5% sales collapse in Europe for October—its worst monthly drop in the region ever—while the rest of the electric-vehicle industry grew 26% this year.
Shareholders who voted for Elon Musk’s trillion-dollar paycheck in June are now discovering that particular bonus may have been priced in a slightly more optimistic spreadsheet. The same investors who once refreshed Reddit at 3 a.m. for Model 3 reservations are quietly recalculating how many Cybertrucks they actually need.
Across Europe, showroom employees report an unusual amount of free time to perfect their latte art. One Berlin dealer told reporters he finally finished reading “War and Peace” between customers—twice.
The European Automobile Manufacturers’ Association released the numbers Tuesday morning. Tesla promptly responded by updating its software, then went silent.
In October, Tesla moved fewer cars across the entire continent than BYD sold in a single month. BYD, for readers still catching up, is the Chinese company that used to make batteries for Nokia phones.
Volkswagen, the brand that spent years perfecting the art of lagging behind Tesla, suddenly sprinted ahead with a 78% surge. Somewhere, the ghost of Dieselgate is smiling politely.
Tesla’s best-seller, the Model Y, was the world’s top-selling car—any powertrain—in 2023. Today it ranks somewhere behind several vehicles that come with free floor mats.
Analysts blame an aging lineup. Tesla currently offers two mass-market models, which is one more than Ford offered in 1908 with the Model T.
The company recently launched a cheaper Model Y by removing items customers apparently loved, such as range and rear seats big enough for adults. Early reviews describe it as “budget airline seating, but with 400 horsepower.”
Elon Musk promised 20-30% growth for 2025 back when that sounded reasonable. The forecast has since been edited to “growth subject to macroeconomic factors, autonomy progress, and the alignment of several planets.”
Chinese brands are arriving with names Europeans can’t pronounce and prices they definitely can. Many include features Tesla charges extra for, like door handles that always work on the first try.
In the UK, buyers can now choose from more than 150 electric models. Exactly zero of the fifty new ones coming next year will carry a Tesla badge, according to Electrifying.com CEO Ginny Buckley, who delivered the line with the calm of someone reading funeral arrangements.
German professor Ferdinand Dudenhoeffer summed it up neatly for Reuters: the problem is no longer just the Chinese catching up. The Europeans have, too. He delivered the quote while presumably stroking a very satisfied beard.
Tesla did not respond to requests for comment, possibly because its press team was busy updating their LinkedIn profiles.
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