Billionaire hedge fund wizard Paul Tudor Jones, who probably has a crystal ball stashed in his office, dropped a comedic bombshell on CNBC’s “Squawk Box” Tuesday, warning that the stock market is about to have a full-blown meltdown, even if President Donald Trump decides to play nice with his China tariffs.
“Look, it’s like a bad rom-com,” Jones chuckled. “You’ve got Trump, the tariff-slinging cowboy, and the Fed, sitting there like a grumpy accountant refusing to budge on rates. That’s a recipe for the stock market to flop harder than a fish out of water.” He predicts Wall Street will nosedive to new lows, even if Trump scales back his tariff tantrum to a mere 50%—which, let’s be honest, is still spicier than a jalapeño.
Jones’s gloomy stand-up routine comes after Trump unleashed a tariff tsunami last month, slapping 145% levies on Chinese goods like they were piñatas. China, not one to miss a party, retaliated with 125% tariffs of their own, leaving Wall Street looking like it just got dumped on prom night. The S&P 500 took a beating but has since clawed back some dignity, lounging 8% below its glory days.
“Trump might dial it back to 50%, 40%, whatever—still gonna sting like a tax hike from the groovy ’60s,” Jones quipped, adjusting his tie like a man who’s seen too many market soap operas. “That’s gonna shave 2%, maybe 3% off growth, like a bad haircut.”
The Tudor Investment guru, who probably moonlights as an economic fortune-teller, isn’t convinced the market’s done sulking. With the Federal Reserve playing hard-to-get, keeping rates steady at 4.25% to 4.5% since December, Fed Chair Jerome Powell is acting like he’s waiting for a PowerPoint from the universe before making a move. “Unless the Fed gets all lovey-dovey and slashes rates like they’re in a rom-com montage, we’re probably headed for new lows,” Jones said, smirking. “Then it’ll get really ugly, and Trump and the Fed will have to hold hands and sing ‘Kumbaya’ to fix it.”
Jones, who became a Wall Street legend after betting big on the 1987 crash (and probably high-fiving himself), isn’t just about making bank. He’s also the head honcho of Just Capital, a nonprofit that ranks companies on how nice they are to people and the planet—because even bearish billionaires have a soft side.
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