Picture this: an American thrill-seeker, Mykhailo Viktorovych Polyakov, 24, decides he’s bored of roller coasters and skydiving, so he sets sail for a forbidden island with a blow-up boat and a dream. On March 29, this daredevil paddled his way to North Sentinel Island in the Bay of Bengal, hoping to high-five one of the world’s most antisocial tribes, the Sentinelese.
North Sentinel Island, a chunk of land about as big as Manhattan but with way fewer Starbucks, sits 750 miles off India’s mainland in the Andaman and Nicobar archipelago. The Indian government has slapped a big “KEEP OUT” sign on it to protect the Sentinelese, who’d rather not catch your flu or your small talk. Visiting’s illegal, but apparently, Polyakov didn’t get the memo—or he just thought laws are more like pirate guidelines.
Our inflatable hero made it to the island, but the Sentinelese didn’t roll out the welcome mat. Jitendra Kumar Meena, the big cheese at the Andaman and Nicobar Police’s Criminal Investigations Department, told that Polyakov didn’t even get a wave from the locals. A fisherman snitched on him as he paddled back, and two days later, cops nabbed him with his trusty inflatable boat and motor. Charges? Not yet, but his boat’s probably grounded for life.
The US State Department chimed in with a classic “yep, we heard about it”, but they’re keeping their lips zipped tighter than a tourist’s fanny pack. No word on whether Polyakov’s hired a lawyer or if he’s just planning to defend himself with a GoPro montage.
The Sentinelese aren’t exactly the “let’s grab a beer” type. They’ve only peeked out of their hermit shell a few times and usually greet outsiders with a firm “get lost”—sometimes with arrows. Nobody knows how many of them are chilling on the island; guesses range from “a few dozen” to “maybe a couple hundred if they’re throwing a party.”
History’s got some grim receipts: back in 2018, missionary John Allen Chau tried to bring Jesus and hugs to the Sentinelese, and they RSVP’d with a fatal “no thanks.” Meena smirked, “Polyakov’s lucky he didn’t get the same RSVP, or he’d be a human pincushion by now.”
Caroline Pearce, the head honcho at Survival International (think of them as the bouncers for isolated tribes), wasn’t laughing. She called Polyakov’s stunt “reckless and idiotic,” probably while facepalming so hard she left a mark. “This guy didn’t just risk his own neck—he could’ve sneezed and accidentally wiped out the whole tribe with a case of the sniffles!” she ranted. Measles and flu are basically alien invasions to these folks, and not the fun kind with popcorn.
Turns out, Polyakov’s no spontaneous nutcase—he’s a planner! Meena said this wasn’t his first rodeo in the Andaman islands. He’d scoped the place out twice before, then launched his grand finale from a beach 25 miles away in South Andaman. His big adventure pitch? “I’m just really into thrills, man,” he allegedly told cops, adding, “Oh, and I left some soda bottles for the tribe—like a peace offering, you know?” Spoiler: the cops haven’t found his fizzy bribes yet. They did, however, snag his phone, GoPro, and a sneaky bottle of sand he swiped as a souvenir.
Now, a special investigation squad’s playing binocular peekaboo with the island from boats, battling choppy waves like it’s a bad reality show. Will they find the missing soda? Will Polyakov’s next adventure be a jail cell?
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