Jeff Bezos is set to wed his Blue Origin co-pilot Lauren Sánchez in Venice, Italy, this week. The couple’s nuptials, shrouded in secrecy thicker than a fog over the Grand Canal, promise a three-day extravaganza that’s got celebrities packing their suitcases and locals packing their protest signs. But the real buzz isn’t about the guest list or the gondolas—it’s about an invitation so visually chaotic it’s sparked a social media roast.
The wedding, reportedly kicking off June 26, has Venice bracing for a “luxury siege” of 95 private jets and a star-studded roster including Leonardo DiCaprio, Oprah Winfrey, and Ivanka Trump. The couple’s $20 million bash, complete with parties at a 15th-century church and a shipyard, has locals grumbling about over-tourism. Protesters, led by the “No Space for Bezos” campaign, have already forced a venue switch from a central nightlife spot to the isolated Arsenale, fearing the city might turn into a billionaire’s playground.
Now, let’s talk about that invitation, leaked by ABC News and promptly roasted on X. It’s a pink-and-blue explosion of clip art—think butterflies, feathers, birds, and gondoliers that look like they were doodled by a caffeinated middle-schooler. Social media didn’t hold back, with one user calling it “the ugliest fucking invite ever” and another joking it was “something a 15-year-old made on Canva.” Ouch.
The invite’s text, written in cursive that screams “I tried too hard,” asks guests to skip gifts and support three Venetian charities instead. Bezos and Sánchez are donating to UNESCO’s Venice Office, CORILA for lagoon restoration, and Venice International University, a move they claim honors the city’s “magical” charm. But some X users smell a PR stunt, noting the invite surfaced just as Greenpeace unfurled a St. Mark’s Square banner reading, “If you can rent Venice for your wedding, you can pay more tax.”
Venice’s residents aren’t rolling out the red carpet. Protests have erupted, with locals waving “No Space for Bezos” signs and threatening to clog canals with inflatable crocodiles. Senator Bernie Sanders even chimed in, calling the $20 million wedding “obscene” while pointing out Bezos’ $230 billion fortune and 1.1% tax rate.
The couple’s not sweating it, though. They partied on their $500 million yacht Koru in Croatia before sailing to Venice, brushing off the backlash with a foam party that probably cost more than your rent. Their wedding planners, Lanza & Baucina, insist they’re keeping disruptions low and hiring local workers, but that hasn’t stopped some A-listers from reportedly bailing, wary of being photographed sipping champagne while protesters chant from gondolas.
The invite’s design disaster isn’t the only hiccup. The Madonna dell’Orto church, one of the party venues, is currently draped in scaffolding, leading locals to speculate Bezos booked it off a Google image search. And Sánchez’s top nail artist, Iram Shelton, pulled a last-minute no-show, leaving the bride-to-be scrambling for a manicure miracle.
Despite the chaos, the wedding’s set to be a spectacle. Rumors swirl of a Dolce & Gabbana gown for Sánchez and a performance by Andrea Bocelli’s son Matteo. The ceremony itself is slated for San Giorgio Maggiore’s basilica, with Bezos’ yacht Koru docked nearby—though it’s staying out of Venice’s waters after protest threats.
Local officials are torn. Veneto’s president, Luca Zaia, defends the wedding, estimating it’ll pump $46-$55 million into the economy. But activists argue it highlights Venice’s slide into a “theme park” for the ultra-rich, with public services and housing taking a backseat.
Social media’s verdict on the invite remains brutal. “All that money and you couldn’t pay for a decent designer?” one user quipped. Another called it “proof that taste can’t be bought,” a sentiment echoed by ex-designers who winced at the card’s chaotic aesthetic.
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