Jeff Bezos: From Billionaire to Bond-Casting Czar
“Who’d you pick as the next Bond?” That was the question posed by Amazon boss Jeff Bezos this week to his 6.8 million followers on X—because apparently, running a trillion-dollar empire and blasting into space isn’t enough. Why not moonlight as MI6’s unofficial HR manager?
Bezos now holds the keys to 007’s Aston Martin, which feels as logical as letting your toddler pick the family vacation spot. He tossed out the question alongside a BBC News screenshot about Amazon snagging creative control of the spy franchise.
Nothing says “cinematic genius” like asking X for casting tips—next up, he’ll be polling them on whether Bond should switch to decaf.
Amazon’s Big Bond Moment (No Pressure, Jeff!)
The choice of Daniel Craig’s replacement is Amazon MGM Studios’ most epic decision yet—right up there with figuring out how to sneak Prime ads into Q’s gadget briefings without us rioting. This is their shot to either etch their name in Hollywood history or accidentally cast someone who thinks “007” is their Wi-Fi password.
The replies to Bezos’s X post are a chaotic wishlist, but one name keeps popping up: Henry Cavill. Makes sense—he’s basically been practicing the “martini in one hand, villain in a chokehold” pose since birth. At this point, they might just let Alexa pick: “Bond, James Bond… shall I add a tuxedo to your cart?”
Henry Cavill: Too Young, Too Old, Too Perfect?
The ex-Superman, who’s openly drooled over the Bond gig, nearly nabbed it back in 2006 for Casino Royale but lost to Craig. Poor Henry’s been on the waitlist longer than most of us for a Black Friday deal.
Director Martin Campbell called his audition “tremendous,” adding, “If Daniel didn’t exist, Henry would’ve been an excellent Bond.” Ouch, that’s like telling a chef, “Your soufflé’s amazing, but someone already ate the last one.”
The catch? Cavill was “too young” at the time—because apparently, you can’t dodge lasers or seduce double agents until you’ve got a mortgage and a bad knee. Now, at 41, he might be too old for Amazon’s taste.
Hollywood’s Goldilocks syndrome strikes again: not too young, not too old, just… perpetually unattainable.
Barbara Broccoli’s Bond Bible: No Kids Allowed
Longtime Bond producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson—who recently stepped down, probably to binge GoldenEye in peace—have vetoed the “young Bond” idea harder than Q rejects budget gadgets. “Bond’s a veteran,” Wilson said in 2022. “He’s been through the wars, probably the SAS or something.”
Translation: They want a Bond who’s seen some stuff—think less “TikTok star” and more “guy who yells at neighborhood kids to get off his lawn.” Amazon, though, might lean younger—because who needs grizzled experience when you’ve got abs and a TikTok dance ready to go?
The X Crowd’s Hot Picks
Bezos’s X replies are a Bond fanboy fever dream: Tom Hardy, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Idris Elba top the list. It’s basically a Marvel reunion with better suits.
Hardy’s a fan fave, but at 47, he might be relegated to “Bond’s grumpy uncle” territory—imagine him mumbling through “shaken, not stirred” while we all nod politely.
Taylor-Johnson, 34, was rumored to have the gig locked, but it fizzled out faster than a soggy firecracker. His Kraven the Hunter flop doesn’t help—apparently, MI6 checks box office receipts now.
Meanwhile, bookies love James Norton, 39, of Happy Valley fame. Sure, he’s more “moody vicar” than “martini maestro,” but slap a tux on him and watch the magic happen.
Ageism in Espionage: Hollywood’s Weird Math
Bond expert Mark O’Connell predicts Amazon will skew younger—early 30s, think “just got their first speeding ticket” vibe.
Hardy? Too old. Elba? Too seasoned (and too cool for this nonsense). O’Connell’s wild cards include Paul Mescal (emo Bond with a side of heartbreak poetry), Kingsley Ben-Adir (Sean Connery swagger meets Barbie Ken energy), and Harris Dickinson (so British he probably apologizes to henchmen mid-fight).
At this rate, they’ll cast a 20-year-old who calls M “bruv” and vapes instead of smokes. Progress?
British or Bust: Keeping the Union Jack Flying
Bond’s been Aussie (George Lazenby) and Irish (Pierce Brosnan), so why not Irishmen Cillian Murphy (imagine him disarming bombs with that Peaky Blinders stare) or Jacob Elordi (Bond in flip-flops yelling “G’day, mate!”)?
An American Bond, like Austin Butler, feels sacrilegious—like pineapple on pizza levels of wrong. O’Connell begs Amazon to “buy British,” lest Bond start saying “dude” and trading his Walther PPK for a Slurpee.
Other Brits in the mix: Josh O’Connor (Prince Charles turned spy), Theo James (White Lotus chaos in a tux), and a dozen others who sound like they’re auditioning for Love Island instead.
Broccoli’s Rules: Male, British, and Fussy
Barbara Broccoli’s Bond commandments are clear: “He’s male, British, and can be any ethnicity.” Fair enough—representation’s cool, but don’t mess with the Y chromosome, apparently.
She’s not here for a female Bond swap: “Women are more interesting than that.” Shots fired at every gender-bent reboot ever! Imagine a female 007 with her own flair—less “Bond girl,” more “Bond boss.”
Still, if Bezos goes rogue, Cynthia Erivo could belt out a theme song and karate-chop Blofeld. Meanwhile, Idris Elba bowed out after racist trolls made it “disgusting”—because some fans think Bond’s skin tone matters more than his kill count. Yikes.
Beyond Bond: Women and Villains Get an Upgrade
Amazon’s not just casting Bond—they’re revamping the whole MI6 vibe. Author Monica Germanà wants “nuanced female characters” to mess with Bond’s ego.
Picture a Q who outsmarts him or a Moneypenny who moonlights as a hacker—Bond’s smirk wouldn’t last five minutes.
Villains, too, need a glow-up. Forget generic cat-strokers—how about a rogue Bezos bot rigging Prime Day to crash the world economy? Or a climate-crazed baddie flooding cities to sell overpriced scuba gear? The possibilities are as endless as Amazon’s shipping options.
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