Gulf of Mexico Becomes Gulf of America, and Maps Everywhere Are Confused!

Gulf of America

Google Maps has changed the Gulf of Mexico’s name to the Gulf of America, because apparently, even bodies of water can get a makeover if you ask nicely (or if you’re Donald Trump). Explaining the move, Google said it was making the change as part of “a longstanding practice” of following name changes when updated by official government sources. So basically, they’re just along for the ride—like that friend who agrees to anything at 2 a.m.

The Gulf—which is bordered by the US, Cuba, and Mexico—will keep its original name for Mexican users, while the rest of the world gets treated to the geography equivalent of a participation trophy: “Gulf of Mexico (Gulf of America).” It’s like Google couldn’t decide on one name, so they slapped both on there, hoping no one notices.

This all comes after President Donald Trump ordered the body of water renamed in U.S. government documents last month, proving once again that he’s not afraid to take on challenges—whether it’s international trade, climate change, or… oceans. At this rate, we wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to rename the Atlantic Ocean next.

Mexico, understandably, wasn’t thrilled about the name change and quickly decried the move, arguing that the U.S. had no legal right to rename the Gulf—because, you know, it’s called international waters for a reason. It’s like your neighbor deciding to rename your backyard pool without asking. Rude.

The change was made by Google on Monday after the Geographic Names Information System (GNIS), a U.S. government database run by the Interior Department, updated its records faster than you can say “cartographic chaos.” The new listing reads: “The Gulf of America, formerly known as the Gulf of Mexico, with an average depth of 5,300 feet, is a major body of water bordered and nearly landlocked by North America…”

Translation? It’s still the same old Gulf, just with a shiny new name tag that screams. Apparently, the update was done in accordance with Trump’s executive order to “restore names that honor American Greatness.” Because nothing says greatness like renaming something that already has a perfectly good name.

Meanwhile, Mexicans are probably Googling how to file a complaint with the International Court of Justice while Americans are busy figuring out if this means they now own all the shrimp tacos in the region. Truly, diplomacy at its finest!

Following the signing of the order, President Trump proclaimed February 9th as “Gulf of America Day.” Because nothing screams national pride like dedicating a day to renaming someone else’s shared bathtub. In a White House statement, he called upon public officials and all Americans to observe this monumental occasion with “appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.” We’re assuming these activities include beach parties, seafood feasts, and possibly a parade featuring inflatable dolphins wearing tiny American flags.

Meanwhile, Mexico’s President Claudia Sheinbaum wasn’t exactly throwing confetti over the announcement. She politely asked Google to reconsider its decision, pointing out that the U.S. can’t just go around renaming international bodies of water—it’s not like rebranding a fast-food chain. She also cited the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea, which states that a country’s sovereignty only extends up to 12 nautical miles from its coastline. Translation: “You can claim the beach, but the ocean is everybody’s piñata.”

At this rate, it feels like we’re one executive order away from Trump declaring the Moon “America’s Nightlight” and scheduling a lunar fireworks display for Independence Day. Let’s just hope no one suggests renaming the Sun next—it’s already got enough going on.

President Trump’s January 20th executive order wasn’t done flexing its creative muscles. Oh no, he also decided North America’s tallest mountain, Denali (formerly Mount McKinley), should revert to its previous name. The problem? Google Maps hasn’t gotten the memo yet, so for now, Alaskans are stuck staring at their screens wondering if they’re climbing the right peak.

At this rate, we might as well start preparing for Mount Everest to become “Mount Awesome” or the Grand Canyon to be renamed “Big Ditch National Monument.” Stay tuned, folks—this map madness is far from over!

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