In a bold move that screams “end-of-season stocktaking event,” New Zealand has launched its latest tourism campaign with the slogan “Everyone must go!”
For those unfamiliar with retail jargon, this phrase typically means “We’re desperate to get rid of everything before closing time.” So naturally, people are wondering if New Zealand is trying to sell discounted fjords or two-for-one hobbit holes.
The NZ$500,000 ($286,000) campaign aims to lure more Aussies across the ditch to boost an economy currently stuck in recession.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced the plan on Sunday, proudly declaring that New Zealand is open for business. According to Minister Louise Upston, the message is simple: “Come visit! We’ve got great deals, stunning views, and slightly fewer sheep than last year!”
But hold onto your kiwi-shaped souvenirs because not everyone is hopping aboard this marketing bandwagon.
Critics have been quick to point out that the slogan sounds less like an invitation to paradise and more like a fire alarm going off at a crowded souvenir shop. One opposition politician quipped, “It’s either a tourism ad or instructions for using public restrooms during peak season.”
Labour’s tourism spokesperson, Cushla Tangaere-Manuel, raised another eyebrow-raising concern: infrastructure stress. She warned that without proper investment in roads, toilets, and parking lots, New Zealand might end up trading postcard-perfect vistas for bumper-to-bumper traffic jams and queues longer than a flight from Sydney to Queenstown.
As she put it, “You can’t fit ten thousand tourists in a campground built for five hundred without someone losing their marbles—or their lunch.”
Meanwhile, Green Party spokesperson Celia Wade-Brown took issue with where the money is being spent. Instead of funneling funds toward protecting New Zealand’s precious wildlife (you know, the stuff people actually come to see), the government opted for splashy ads.
Wade-Brown tried to sum it up: “Why market our natural wonders if we’re not going to protect them? It’s like advertising a five-star restaurant but forgetting to buy food.”
And then there’s the cherry on top of this awkward sundae: record-high emigration rates. In 2024, droves of New Zealanders decided they’d rather live elsewhere, prompting social media users to draw parallels between the slogan and the exodus.
Labour lawmaker Barbara Edmonds tweeted, “New Zealanders are voting with their feet, leaving in record numbers—just as the Govt begins focusing on marketing to Australians.”
Despite the backlash, tourism remains vital to New Zealand’s economy. Before the pandemic, it was the country’s largest export industry, and nearly 7% of the workforce still depends on it today.
But while visitor numbers haven’t fully bounced back since COVID-19, Prime Minister Luxon insists this campaign will turn things around. Whether it’ll revive tourism or just leave everyone scratching their heads remains to be seen.
So here’s the million-dollar question: Will Aussies pack their bags and flock to New Zealand, or will they assume the country is holding a massive garage sale?
Either way, one thing’s for sure—New Zealand’s marketing team definitely didn’t phone this one in. They probably just forgot to proofread it.
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