Warner Bros. Discovery has reportedly told David Ellison’s Paramount Skydance to take its $20-per-share offer and shove it into a vault next to the lost Snyder Cut of Justice League.
Warner Bros. Discovery (WBD), the media conglomerate that somehow still owns both Barbie and CNN’s 3 a.m. conspiracy theory hour, has deemed a $20-per-share acquisition bid “too low”—despite its stock trading at $17.10. That’s right: they’re rejecting money like it’s a participation trophy from a streaming service that folded in 2022.
David Ellison’s newly minted Paramount Skydance, fresh off spending $8 billion to acquire Paramount Global—a company that once gave us Top Gun: Maverick and, more recently, existential dread over the future of Star Trek. Apparently, one legacy studio wasn’t enough. Ellison wants the whole Hollywood buffet, and WBD was supposed to be the dessert.
WBD’s response is a polite yet firm “We’d rather split in half than sell for pocket change.” The company is already planning to divorce itself next spring into two entities: Warner Bros. (movies, streaming, and the occasional Harry Potter reboot panic) and Discovery Global (home of 90 Day Fiancé and people yelling about bears).
Honestly, it’s less a corporate restructuring and more a therapy session with stock tickers.
Bloomberg reports that Ellison’s offer didn’t clarify whether it included WBD’s $35.6 billion in debt—a detail roughly as minor as forgetting to mention your new spouse has 17 alimony payments. It’s like proposing marriage but leaving out that you still live with your ex… and their pet iguana… and a $35 billion mortgage.
To be fair, David Ellison did hint at expansion during a recent Bloomberg conference, saying the streaming wars demand “more content, more scale, more engagement.” Translation: “We need more shows so people stop canceling us after one month.”
He stopped short of naming targets, but his eyes reportedly lingered on a poster of The Matrix—a film his father, Oracle billionaire Larry Ellison, probably watches while counting his yachts.
Speaking of Larry: he bankrolled most of the $8 billion Paramount deal, proving once again that daddy’s wallet is the real MVP of Hollywood M&A. One wonders if he’s now side-eyeing his son’s rejected bid like a parent watching their kid try to trade a Pokémon card for a Tesla.
Meanwhile, Apollo Global Management—the financial equivalent of that one friend who always knows a guy who knows a guy—is reportedly in talks to join the bidding. If this were a rom-com, Apollo would be the quirky best friend who shows up with a better offer and a heart-shaped box of leveraged debt.
WBD’s current market cap sits at $42.3 billion, which sounds impressive until you remember they also carry enough debt to fund a small moon colony. Still, CEO David Zaslav has been vocal about industry consolidation, likely while sipping artisanal kombucha in a boardroom that smells faintly of desperation and old Friends reruns.
Ironically, Zaslav himself once tried to merge with Paramount before the Skydance deal closed. Now, he’s playing hard to get like a rom-com lead who just discovered self-worth—and a slightly higher stock price. Since news of Ellison’s interest broke on September 11, WBD shares have surged 36%, proving that in Hollywood, even rejection smells like opportunity.
None of the involved parties—Paramount, WBD, or Apollo—responded to requests for comment. Presumably, they were all too busy drafting passive-aggressive press releases or rewatching Succession for merger negotiation tips.
At this point, the only thing more dramatic than the bid itself is the fact that no one’s made a limited series about it yet. Give it six months, and HBO will announce The Offer: Debt & Dishonor, starring Jeremy Strong as a spreadsheet.
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