Buckle up, folks, because President Donald Trump is turning the semiconductor industry into a wild dance floor! On Sunday, aboard Air Force One—probably while munching on some in-flight pretzels—Trump announced he’d be dropping the tariff rate bombshell on imported semiconductors sometime in the next week.
But don’t worry, he’s keeping it flexible, like a yoga instructor at a tech convention.
Trump’s latest groove means the free pass for smartphones and laptops from his trade-war tango with China might be shorter than a TikTok video.
“We’re gonna make chips and semiconductors right here in the good ol’ U.S.A.,” he told reporters, probably imagining a giant “Made in America” sticker on every microchip. When asked if phones might still dodge the tariff bullet, he shrugged and said, “Gotta stay loose, folks. Nobody likes a stiff negotiator.”
Earlier that day, Trump cranked up the drama by announcing a national security probe into semiconductors and the entire electronics supply chain. He took to social media, was hyping a Black Friday sale.
The White House had briefly calmed everyone’s nerves on Friday by exempting tech goodies like laptops and phones from the tariff hit list, giving hope that your next iPhone wouldn’t cost as much as a used car.
But hold the confetti! Trump’s commerce secretary, Howard Lutnick, crashed the party on Sunday, warning that smartphones, computers, and other gadgets are getting their own VIP tariff treatment in a month or two.
“It’s not the reciprocal tariffs,” Lutnick said, sipping coffee on TV, “it’s a special focus tariff. Like a laser beam of trade policy, baby!” He predicted this would bring gadget production back to the U.S., probably picturing factories popping up like Starbucks.
Trump’s tariff twirls sent Wall Street into a spin cycle wilder than a 2020 Zoom happy hour. The S&P 500 is down over 10% since Trump’s inauguration on Jan. 20, and traders are probably stress-eating their portfolios.
Meanwhile, China retaliated by jacking up its tariffs on U.S. goods to 125% on Friday, then cryptically remarked, “The bell on a tiger’s neck can only be untied by the person who tied it.” Translation: “Nice try, but we’re keeping the bell, buddy.”
Billionaire Bill Ackman, who backed Trump’s campaign but isn’t a fan of this tariff rodeo, suggested a 90-day timeout on the China tariffs. “Drop ’em to 10% for a bit,” he posted on X, probably while sipping a latte in a penthouse. “It’ll still scare businesses back to the U.S. without everyone losing their minds.”
But not everyone’s laughing. Sven Henrich, a market strategist, took to X with some spicy shade: “The biggest stock rally of the year would happen if Lutnick got the boot.” He begged the administration to pick a message and stick to it, because U.S. businesses are dizzy from the policy ping-pong.
Senator Elizabeth Warren, never one to miss a jab, called the tariff plan “chaos and corruption” on TV, probably while shaking her head so hard her glasses fogged up.
Late Friday, the U.S. Customs folks dropped a list of 20 tech products dodging the tariff bullet for now—think laptops, memory chips, and flat-screen displays. But White House trade adviser Peter Navarro, looking like he just stepped out of a trade-war montage, told NBC’s Meet the Press that China’s still on the naughty list for fentanyl and trade shenanigans. He’s got a diplomatic dance card with seven other countries but left China off the guest list.
Trade Rep Jamieson Greer, meanwhile, said there’s no Trump-Xi Jinping tariff summit planned yet, accusing China of throwing shade with their own tariffs. Hedge fund guru Ray Dalio dropped a gloom-and-doom bomb on Meet the Press, warning that the U.S. is “this close” to a recession—or worse—if this tariff tango goes off the rails.
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