Senate narrowly avoids a government shutdown at midnight (cue dramatic music). Chuck Schumer, the Democratic minority leader, joins forces with Republicans to pass a GOP-written stopgap bill—because nothing says “teamwork” like Democrats bailing out Republicans just in time.
The final vote? 54-46, which is about as bipartisan as toddlers agreeing on who gets the last cookie.
Earlier, after days of Democrats agonizing over whether to shut down the government or not, Schumer flipped faster than a pancake on a hot griddle.
He and nine other Democrats decided to thwart their own party’s filibuster attempt. Why? Because apparently, letting Trump run wild during a shutdown sounded worse than handing him a temporary spending measure. Talk about choosing between bad and… slightly less bad.
With hours to spare before the midnight deadline, Congress scrambled to avoid a funding lapse. It’s almost like they’re always one step away from turning the U.S. Capitol into an episode of Survivor.
Democrats were already fighting among themselves like siblings arguing over dinner plans. Should they resist Trump’s agenda by shutting down the government? Or should they cave and live to fight another day?
Progressive activists wanted a showdown; moderates wanted peace. Meanwhile, Chuck Schumer probably felt like the referee in a wrestling match where both sides are throwing chairs.
Just Wednesday, Schumer was all “No way, José!” to the GOP bill. By Thursday, he’d done a full 180, saying, “Hey, look, if we don’t pass this thing, Trump and Elon Musk will turn federal agencies into their personal playgrounds.”
And honestly, can you blame him? Imagine Elon deciding which NASA interns are “nonessential.” Chaos!
Joining Schumer were some surprising names, including senators planning to retire (wink wink). Clearly, when you’ve got one foot out the door, you care less about political blowback. Even Angus King, the independent who hangs out with Democrats, voted yes.
Meanwhile, Rand Paul stood alone as the lone Republican “no” vote—because what’s a Senate vote without a little Rand rebellion?
This stopgap bill keeps federal funds flowing mostly at Biden-era levels but gives the military an extra $6 billion (flexes patriotically).
No earmarks for lawmakers’ pet projects, though, so no new bridges named after random senators. Oh, and D.C.’s budget takes a $1 billion hit—but don’t worry, there’s talk of reversing that later. Phew! Crisis averted—for now.
Top Dems like Patty Murray warned that without specific instructions on how to spend money, Trump could create slush funds faster than a toddler makes a mess with Play-Doh.
Translation: Congress hands over the keys, and Trump drives off into chaos-town. Fun!
Some Democrats opposed the bill because it lets Trump keep cutting programs and firing workers unchecked. Jon Ossoff of Georgia summed it up perfectly: “We need to check the president, not give him more power.” Bold move, considering voters might remember this next election season.
John Thune, the GOP majority leader, blamed Democrats for failing to pass annual spending bills last year while they were in charge. Classic deflection: “It’s your fault we’re here!” Never mind that Republicans wrote the current bill. Pot, meet kettle.
And thus, Congress avoided disaster once again—only to set up potential disasters for next year. But hey, at least they didn’t let the government shut down! Small victories, folks. Small victories.
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