Chinese electric vehicle giant BYD saw its profits nosedive by 30% as a savage price war turned China’s car market into a vehicular Hunger Games. With prices slashed so low that cars are nearly free with a Happy Meal, analysts warn of a looming “EV apocalypse.”
On Monday, BYD’s stock took an 8% tumble in Hong Kong, leaving investors clutching their wallets and muttering about “the great EV bargain bin.”
The Shenzhen-based automaker, once the darling of the electric vehicle world, reported a measly 6.4 billion yuan ($900 million) in net profit from April to June, down from last year’s glory days.
The culprit? A cutthroat price war that’s turned China’s car market into a demolition derby of discounts.
“It’s like Black Friday, but for electric cars—and it’s every day,” said fictional auto analyst Ding Wei of the Beijing Institute of Vehicular Shenanigans. “Dealers are throwing in free air fresheners, zero-interest loans, and promises of eternal happiness just to move inventory.”
BYD’s filing pointed fingers at “increased price competition” and “industry malpractices” like excessive marketing, which apparently includes billboards screaming, “Buy an EV or Your Neighbors Will Judge You!”
Local rivals Nio and XPeng, along with Tesla, have joined the frenzy, slashing prices faster than a chef at a sushi convention. The average car price in China has plummeted 19% over two years, now hovering at 165,000 yuan ($23,100), roughly the cost of a fancy espresso machine.
Beijing, unimpressed by this automotive free-for-all, has wagged a stern finger at automakers, urging them to stop the discounts before the economy starts resembling a clearance rack.
“We’re seeing dealers offer free cars with the purchase of a keychain,” lamented fake government official Li Zhang. “This must stop, or we’ll all be riding bicycles again by 2026.”
Despite BYD’s global ambitions to sell 5.5 million cars this year, they’ve only moved 2.49 million by July, prompting analysts to wonder if the company misread “world domination” as “world donation.”
Professor Laura Wu, a made-up industrial policy guru from Nanyang Technological University, called BYD’s performance “a wake-up call for anyone thinking they can win by giving cars away like candy at a parade.”
The irony? BYD overtook Tesla in 2024 to become the world’s largest EV maker, thanks to its hybrid vehicles’ charm in China, Asia, and Europe.
“They’re the rock stars of EVs, but even rock stars can trip over their own guitar cables,” quipped Judith MacKenzie, a fictional investment expert from Downing Fund Managers, in an exclusive BBC interview that never happened.
As China’s EV market continues its descent into a discount-driven dystopia, experts predict a future where cars are bundled with free toasters and lifetime supplies of instant noodles.
For BYD, the road ahead looks bumpy—unless they start selling cars at a profit, or at least throw in a complimentary jetpack with every purchase.
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